Rejected Episodes
by BeastBoyRox746
Summary: These are the episodes that Naruto creators rejected. Beware! Read at own risk!


**This iz a short krack fanfik I thought of. It'z the first fik I posted in script form. It really haz no point at all and waz made just to get some laughs. The chapterz are kinda short too. Have fun! R&R**

**Scene One- Orochimaru getz AIDZ (And no, I don't mean that in a sick way either! Totally clean! You perverts...)**

Orochimaru- Oh no! I got blood all over my sword! I must clean it! But how...? -licks blood off sword- There! Good as new!

---

Anko- Mmm... This stuff sure tastes good! -walking through forest-

Orochimaru- -sneaks up behind her- Hello Anko!

Anko- AHH!! -turns around- Oh... it's just you...

Orochimaru- Are you... bleeding? -points to Anko-

Anko- Huh? Where?

Orochimaru- There! -runs up to Anko and bites her arm-

Anko- YEEEEOWCH! You idiot! What was that for?!

Orochimaru- -gasp- You are bleeding!!

Anko- -rubs arm- Yeah! Thanks to you!

Orochimaru- -licks the blood off her arm-

Anko- ...-faints-

---

Narrator (aka the author! A real narrator cost too much so there! MWHAHA! Bow down before me for I can make anything happen because I am writing this and you're not. XP) And so, after many acts of refreshing himself over and over and over again, the snaky, vampireish freak went to the doctors for he was not feeling well. (wonder why...)

Doctor- -sitting in chair humming-

Orochimaru- -walks in-

Doctor- Huh? -turns around- AHH!!! Michael Jackson!! -falls off chair-

Orochimaru- ...

Doctor- Please, spare me! I don't have any kids for you to molest! Let me goooo. -cries-

Orochimaru- I'M NOT MICHAEL JACKSON!

Doctor- Oh... okay... Well what do you want?

Orochimaru- Ugh -clutches stomach- I don't feel so well.

Doctor- Well, let's run some blood tests on you for no good reason.

---

Narrator/Author- Mwhaha! I'm back! And so, once upon a time... Oh, sorry. And so after the tests the doctor (Aw, what the heck! I'll name him Bob.) was in his office or whatever, getting the results, leaving Orochimaru waiting in the waiting room. Hmm... I wonder why they call it a waiting room... He was going through hell for he had to listen to cheesy elevator music and an annoying little butt hole- I mean girl. Poor him.

---

Orochimaru- -twiddling his thumbs-

Little girl named... um... Sue!- Mister -tugs on Orochimaru's robe- Are you gonna try to molest me?

Orochimaru- What?!

Sue- Well, you're Michael Jackson, aren't you?

Orochimaru- ARGH! FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM NOT MICHAEL JACKSON!!

Sue- Well you sure look like him!

Orochimaru- AHHH!! -spits tongue out at Sue and it turns into a snake-

Sue- EEEEEEEE!!!! -runs away-

Orochimaru- Heh, that should take care of that brat!

Bob- -walks in room- Well Or-eechi-mayo...

Orochimaru- Orochimaru!

Bob- Whatever. Results show that you have AIDS.

Orochimaru- WHAAAAT?!?!?!

Bob- The results don't lie. -waves clipboard, on it is a picture of a drawing of a stick person-

Orochimaru- ...

Bob- Oops. -pulls out graph- There. The results don't lie.

Orochimaru- From who?!!

Bob- Well, scans show... Twenty different people.

Orochimaru- -gasp-

Bob- Oh yeah, you'll die in 24 hours. Now get out of my waiting room!

---

Narrator/Author- Poor Orochimaru was astonished. He only had 24 hours to live and do everything on his list of 'Things to do before I die' that he carried around in his pocket

**Things to do before I die. **

**Kill Sasuke**

**Make fun of Naruto**

**Lick something**

Narrator/Author- Ahem! Before I was so rudely interrupted by a stupid list, Orochimaru set out to do those things! Starting with killing Sasuke! MWAHAHA! DIE YOU EMO LITTLE BUTT MONKEY!

Orochimaru- -walking through Konoha- SASKAY!! WHERE ARE YOOOOU? I NEED TO KILL YOU.

Narrator/Author- Having no luck finding-

Orochimaru- Hey how'd you get here?

Narrator/Author- Eh, -shrugs- some bitch trapped me in the computer.

Orochimaru- Haha!

Narrator/Author- Oh! That's it! -starts typing- As Orochimaru looked for Sasuke, someone found him...

Orochimaru- Huh? What are you doing?

Familiar voice- Yeah, that's him!

Orochimaru- -turns around to seeee...- NOOO! NOT HER! I'M SORRY! PLEASE, NOT HER! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator/Author- To late.

Sue- Yup! He's the guy alright!

Sue's big, big, _biiig_ brother- You messin' with my little sister, freak?

Orochimaru- Heh... _Damn you Narrator/Author! Damn you to oblivion!!_

---

Narrator/Author- Over to Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

Naruto- What the- Oh! Hey Yuki!

Narrator/Author- Hi! -waves at Naruto and Sakura-

Sasuke- Great...

Narrator/Author- -glare-

Sakura- _Sigh, she's just like Naruto..._

Sasuke- What are you doing here...?

Narrator/Author- Shut up! This is my story, not yours!

Sakura- Story?

Narrator/Author- Well, I better disappear into thin air so I can finish narrating the story. Bye! -disappears-

Naruto- How does she do that?!

Orochimaru- -sneaks up behind Sasuke and taps his shoulder-

Sasuke- Eh? -turns around-

Narrator/Author's voice- Finding this as the perfect chance, Orochimaru pulled out a kunai and stabbed Sasuke!

Orochimaru- Hmm... Good idea. -pause- Oh, -shakes fist in air- I still have to get you back! -stabs Sasuke-

Sasuke- ... -falls to floor-

Sakura- EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! -passes out-

Naruto- YES! -jumps up- IN YOUR FACE! -points to Sasuke and laughs at him-

Narrator/Author's voice- MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Naruto- With you gone, nothing will stop me from ruling the world!!!

Orochimaru- -points at Naruto- Haha! -runs off-

Naruto- Um... okay

---

Orochimaru- Hmm... Let's see here. I killed Sasuke and made fun of Naruto. All I have left is to lick something... How much time do I have? -pulls out snake shaped watch- AHHH! I only have five minutes!!

Narrator/Author- Orochimaru wisely spent those five minutes running around in circles while yelling. Smart...

_5 minutes later..._

Orochimaru- Um… Aren't I supposed to be dead by now? -pause- Stupid little… -walks off-

_**At the doctors**_

Orochimaru- -storms into Bob's office- Grr…

Bob- The results, -dramatic pause- lied.

Orochimaru- Really?! So I don't have AIDS?

Bob- Um, no. You still have AIDS. You just wont die right now.

Orochimaru- -gasp-

**LOL! I lied big time. I didn't mean 2 make the story that long. Reviewz are needed or I'll die! Right now! Oh, here'z a short scene I kouldn't figure out how to put into the story. Think of it like a kind of blooper. **

-starts to snow-

Orochimaru- -reading list- Hmm… all I have left is to lick something. But what… -looks around- There's nothing here but a bunch of poles, Hm, never licked a pole before! -runs up to pole and licks it-

-Orochimaru's tongue freezes to pole-

Orochimaru- AHH! -struggles- I cant break free… -pause- HELP!!

Orochimaru- Someone…

Orochimaru- Anyone…

Orochimaru- -sob-

**Poor Orochimaru. OMG! Why in the manga Orochimaru lookz a lot better than he does in the anime. It'z funny though cuz before they had the anime all theze fangirls thought Orochimaru was soo hot, and then when the anime came out they all were like "OMFG!!" Tiz funneh! Requests? Send them to -pause- I just luuuuv requests! (hint HINT!!)**


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